So a englishman walks into pub with an octupus and decides to make an announcement. He says
I bet 100 pounds that this here octopus can play any instrument you give it!
Everybody in the pub laughs and a welshman gives the octopus a guitar and says "play that!"
the octopus plays the most beautiful classical piece and everybody is weaping!
An irishman gives the octopus a violin and says, "that was good, but can you play this!"
the octopus plays a even more beautiful piece and everybody in the bar is sobbing AND weaping.
Then a clever scotsman gives the bagpipes to the octopus
The octopus looks puzzled, he's not sure what to do. He keeps on looking at it and turning it over and over and over again, searching for something. The englishman freaks out and says "bloody hell! what are you doing! play it!
the octopus says, "play it?! once i get it's pajamas off i'm going to fuck it!"
that settles it.